I love this song in the Fiddler on the Roof. This story of Jews in Russia and the changes that take place that eventually drive them out of their homeland. The story is of family, love, heartbreak, fear and faith.
In one part of the show, Tevye is discouraged and imagining how different and wonderful his life would be if only he were a very, rich man. He'd have a nice house, he'd have servants, his wife would be well dressed and FAT(Oh why wasn't i born in that time when fat was so very good:) He'd have all of the best, and most importantly, people would come to him and ask for his wisdom.
The fiddler shows up intermittetly throughout the movie reminding one of the difficulty of trying to balance life's difficulties and decisions. Tevye explains it this way:
But here, in our little village of Anatevka, you might say every one of us is a fiddler on the roof trying to scratch out a pleasant, simple tune without breaking his neck. It isn’t easy.”
Like Tevye, we try, we work hard, we do our best. Our chalenge is to stay on the roof. We must understand the difficulty while retaining the will to fiddle and dance. Dissatisfaction is a habit. When i am dissatisfied with something in my life, it becomes larger than it truly is. It is as if I am carrying a giant magnifying glass and have no ability to put it down and see things as they truly are. I cannot hold the magnifying glass and the fiddle at once, something must go.
I have been worrying about next steps and letting the worries of finances get in the way of enjoying today. Tomorrow will come and I will be more equipped to understand and address the worries of the months ahead by focusing on the solution and doing what I know to do. I have recently realized that I have been letting worry steal a large presence in my mind. I was fretting. I was praying three days ago and, as I was praying I had a significant realization-- worrying and fretting is a choice and I don't have to choose it. I can plan to work, move forward, do my best. I can plan to trust God. Today, I do not see the path that we will be taking in a few months but, today, I have three children who would like a happy, somewhat carefree mother to plan a summer that holds fun, adventure, learning and memories.
I can live within my means, pay my bills, save as much as I can, and I can let the worry go. My choice. I can drag the worry behind me where ever I am and let it weigh me down and dampen my thoughts or I can strive to do what is important and good each day and let tomorrow take care of itself. Worrying has a negative impact and does not provide solutions.
Today I will fiddle. Today I will remember my blessings. Today I will look for someone that needs a friend. And then, I will be a rich (wo)man.
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