Standing up

By Elder M. Russell Ballard Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

“Every sister who stands for truth and righteousness diminishes the influence of evil. Dear sisters, every one of you who strengthens and protects your family is doing the work of God. Every sister who lives as a woman of God becomes a beacon for others to follow and plants seeds of righteous influence that will be harvested for decades to come. Every sister who makes and keeps sacred covenants becomes an instrument in the hands of God.

I have been drawn to an interchange between God the Father and His Elder and Only Begotten Son, who is the ultimate example of living up to one’s premortal promises. When God asked who would come to earth to prepare a way for all mankind to be saved and strengthened and blessed, it was Jesus Christ who said, simply, ‘Here am I, send me’ (Abraham 3:27).

Just as the Savior stepped forward to fulfill His divine responsibilities, we have the challenge and responsibility to do likewise. If you are wondering if you make a difference to the Lord, imagine the effect when you make such commitments as the following,

‘Father, if you need a woman to rear children in righteousness, Here am I, send me.’

‘If you need a woman to make a house a home filled with love, Here am I, send me.’

‘If you need a woman who will shun vulgarity and dress modestly and speak with dignity and show the world how joyous it is to keep the commandments, Here am I, send me.’

‘If you need a woman who can resist alluring temptations of the world by keeping her eyes fixed on eternity, Here am I, send me.’

‘Between now and the day the Lord comes again, He needs women in every family, in every ward, in every community, in every nation who will step forward in righteousness and say by their words and their actions, ‘Here am I, send me.’”

http://lds.org/ensign/2002/04/women-of-righteousness?lang=eng

Accepting Forgiveness

God will reach out to soften the hearts of others and to soften our hearts toward ourselves.  In the story of the Prodigal Son, the father RUNS to his son.  He knew that his son would have ample reason to doubt that his father would be happy to see him-- so the father RAN to his son and hugged him.  If a good father of a wayward son can offer such love, can we also imagine God giving us the same kind of greeting when we pray, repent, ask for help?  God's capacity far outweighs the capacity of a good father as described in the story.   

Christianity

Christianity is a lab school where we practice what we understand and, in turn, learn from what we practice.  We can participate on many different levels and in that way it is much like a parable.  We will grow and learn by our experience in much the same way as we do in a parable.  There is growth available on all levels and any effort is valuable but, Christianity participated in at the very rudimental level produces like results. 

Don't Hold the Lord to YOUR Path

Prove God again and again.  He has a better path for me, and yet, I often seek to push Him onto my path rather than being led by Him to His path for me. 

God is busy building a foundation.  He puts the foundation into place many years before we see it.  He always builds foundations.

"I Shall Look At The World Through Tears. Perhaps I Shall See Things That, Dry-Eyed, I Could Not See".---Nicholas Wolterstorff

except when there isn't any peace

I hate to return to complain mode, but, that's where I landed today.  I am having a really hard time.  I am not coping and don't have much available.  I am trying to keep our home as a good and kind place and, that's all I can do.  I don't have much to give outside of my little family.  I am unmotivated and probably clinically depressed.  I hope this is a hormonal thing and that it will pass in a day or two, but, my resilience is LOW.   I made a few mistakes in judgement in the past few weeks that are rearing their ugly heads and I don't know how to fix them.   I am trying to use all of my coping skills (well, not all of them, I usually use my 'call a friend/sister' lifeline but, I don't want to dwell on the negative and I know that I will cry if I talk to someone and I will turn the whole thing into a bigger thing than a bad day).

So far today I
spent an hour reading about the atonement
cleaned the house, put away groceries and did 2 loads of wash
kept Kailey home this morning so she could finish some homework and play a math game (And I call myself an educator...shameful....)
helped at Lego club for Seth and Jordan
spent time with just Kailey after school
talked about hard things with Alan that he needed me to address
went for a walk
caught up on some work, looked up so grant opportunities
read a marriage book for a few hours
made the children a dinner they liked
made cookies with Kailey
read with Jordan
helped Kailey memorize a Shakespeare quote
watched America's Funniest Home videos with Seth and Jordan
took ten cute things that are ugly on me out of my closet
ote a list of 11 things I like about Alan Brock

I am doing a little better.  But, it has been a struggle today to get through the day.  I know that my slump is of my own making but it doesn't make it any easier.  I  am going upstairs to put children to bed and to read to them for a whole hour (as promised) from a very funny book they like (How to speak dragoneese).  All day long I tried to find goodness in my day but I was near tears.  I am so glad that, when I went to Wal-Mart today to check on a replacement phone for my quirky and defective cell phone that I didn't run into anyone that I knew.  I was trying hard to hold back tears.  I had no poker face today.  I am overwhelmed and tired.  I am tired of being overwhelmed and tired.    I guess some days are like that...even in Australia

Directed continually by the hand of the Lord

I have come to know, through so many experiences in life, that there is a path specifically for me and that God is in front of me on my path.  I was reading scriptures to the children last night and was reminded of that truth:

"And it came to pass that the Lord commanded them that they should go forth into the wilderness, yea, into that quarter where there never had man been.  And it came to pass that the Lord did go before them, and did talk with them as he stood in a cloud, and gave directions wither they should travel.

And it came to pass that they did travel in the wilderness, and did build barges, in which they did cross many waters, being directed continually by the hand of the Lord". (Ether 2: 5-6).

How often I travel on paths that feel much like my wilderness.  I know that there are times when I feel that I am traveling in places where "never had man been" and it feels frightening and lonely.  I do best when I remember to notice God's presence and guidance.  When I remember that God has always given me directions wither I should travel.  When I travel in the wilderness, build structures of faith to cross unknown waters in my life, I am being directed, not occasionally, but continually by the hand of the Lord.